We try and stay away from politics here at the Lambrettista blog. But this is something that affects all Lambrettisti! Rumours have reached Lambrettista Towers that after seeing some archive footage of a Lambretta Amphi-Scooter on this very blog (see original post here), HM Government are buying up vintage Lambrettas at a premium, and converting them to amphibious capabilities.
Jacob Rees-Mogg testing a modified Lambretta scooter
Although not the obvious choice as a sea-going vessel, a converted Lambretta is seen as being more than capable of the short Dover to Calais route, and is being touted as “Just the sort of forward-facing, out-of-the-box innovative thinking this country needs”. A breakaway faction of the government is said to be carrying out experiments in converting Triumph Tigress scooters, claiming the British build scooters are better suited to the task than any ‘Italian Rubbish’. Rumours that the mastermind behind this project is the Secretary of State for Transport, Chris “failing” Graying have yet to be substantiated.
Although the storage capacity of these machines is somewhat limited, it’s thought that with enough converted Lambrettas, the UK can avoid shortages of Camembert, Brie, and several other European kinds of cheese. With the addition of front and rear racks, baguettes and croissants can also be accommodated.